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I'm going to Vegas on Sunday for my dad's 55th birthday. It's a surprise, so I really hope he doesn't read this before then. (Dad, if you read this, just pretend to be surprised when we wake you up at 2 AM to start driving down to Seattle.) Anyway, I'll be there for part of the World Series, and that should be fun. Vegas has set the odds at 2-1 for the Red Sox, which doesn't strike me as surprising but it sure makes me upset.
I've decided to handicap the World Series, Sports Guy style, but I've got to do it now, and it's about 1:30 AM, because the series starts tomorrow. I'll try my best to be objective, but it pains be to acknowledge the Red Sox as being superior to anything in anyway. Keep a few things in mind: I've had a rough day at work, therefore I went and had a few drinks with some friends, I'm sleepy and I want to go to bed, and I hate the Red Sox more than anything. Except George Bush, but that's a completely different topic.
Here we go.
Starting Pitching:
Colorado has Jeff Francis, the top draft pick from outside Vancouver. Yes he's Canadian, but does he even compare to Boston's ace? In a word, no. Let's be honest here, Boston has Beckett and some asshole Republican who just so happens to be a World Series co-MVP a few years ago and beat the Yankees while his ankle was essentially stapled together. Oh, they also have the guy who cost them $101 million. While Matsuzaka has been less than stellar this postseason, there's nothing to indicate that Schilling won't be at least decent. After Francis, I dare you to name me one of the Rockies starters. Here they are: Ubaldo Jimenez, Josh Fogg and Aaron Cook. There they are, ladies and gentlemen: your 2007 Rockies rotation. True, the Rockies rotation has been strong this postseason, and for the last fifteen games of the regular season, but do they have a 20-game winner?
Huge Edge: Red Sox
Relief Pitching:
Because of baseball's East Coast bias, which is coupled with the AL bias, even I am looking at the Rockies WS roster and thinking, "Who?" Then I remember that LaTroy Hawkins was essentially booed out of the Chicago's North Side and Manny Corpas might have poured Gatorade on the front of his jersey in Arizona. But then I look at the Red Sox Ws roster and see Eric Gagne, and all is forgiven. When it comes down to it, the Rockies are great at getting their relief pitchers for their matchups. Brian Fuentes was an All-Star this season, before he was injured, and Matt Herges and Jeremy Affeldt really have been okay. On the other side, the Sox have Papelbon and Okajima, but if a starter gets knocked out early they still have Lester and Delcarmen. I wouldn't count on Timlin, but I hope to all that is holy Gagne somehow gets thrown out there in a tie game.
Not So Huge Edge: Red Sox (Only because of Gagne.)
Closer:
Corpas vs Papelbon. If you were dying and the only way you could win is if some guy won Texas hold 'em for you, who would you rather send in? And who would you rather have sitting there if you got 2-7 unsuited? Papelbon would just scare his opponents away. They'd have to go to the bathroom and call their mommies. It just kills me to admit that.
Huge Huge Huge Edge: Red Sox (Man, this just sucks. A lot.)
Catcher:
Whew. Finally out of that pitching thing. Yorvit Torrealba and Jason Varitek. Nothing to write home to your parents about, but you kind of just gotta roll with it. Torrealba ("Who?") is hitting .320 in the playoffs, with seven RBI! Wow. Varitek does have the slight advantage in playoff experience, but I get the feeling that he's a slight write-off in this lineup. It happens when you ground into a shitload of double plays. It just does.
Slight Edge: Rockies (Finally.)
First Base:
The first question, obviously, is do you prefer Todd Helton's facial landscape or that of Kevin Youkilis? See, I feel that Youkilis' is more just there while Helton's is actually groomed. It's been cultivated. It's like a playoff beard in hockey, except it's been waiting eleven years to get here, so it's anxious. It may be a little too anxious, cause Helton's not doing too well. As long as it can make the putouts at first and fire up the team, Helton's beard might be doing its job. Youkilis, how much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways. No, it'll take too long and I'm too tired. However, I do like that when the series moves to Colorado, David Ortiz and the plastic glove he borrowed from that guy who narrated The Sandlot will be lumbering around first.
Slight Edge: Red Sox (But I'll shift it to Rockies when in Colorado.)
Second Base:
It must SUCK to be a Mets fan right now. First of all, it only really sucks to go 5-12 over your last seventeen games if the team trailing you goes 13-4 over the same stretch. The Mets wouldn't be remember as the biggest choke artists ever if the Phillies didn't do so well. But it must REALLY suck to see the guy who was booed out of town to be flourishing in Colorado. By the end of the NLDS, Philadelphia was intentionally walking Kaz Matsui. I was absolutely giddy at the sight. He almost hit for the cycle, but was pulled before he could hit the single. The single! Dustin Pedroia's going to win the AL Rookie of the Year, and yes he got hot over the last few ALCS games, but this is a guy who admitted he doesn't hit well in cold weather. Good luck in Colorado, where it was in the 30s for game 3 of the NLDS.
Even (Barely)
Shortstop:
It's a bad sign when you were supposed to be the guy who rejuvenated the leadoff spot and suddenly you're batting eighth or ninth. It's a good sign when you're regarded as the best defensive shortstop in your league, you're looking at finishing first or second in the Rookie of the Year voting and you have this fun chant just for you. Just so you know that "Let's Go!" chant doesn't end in "Lugo!" Partly because Bostonians wouldn't be caught dead doing a silly chant like that, but mostly because you're Julio Lugo.
Less Than Huge, But Bigger Than Slight Edge: Rockies
Third Base:
If you're Mike Lowell and you were thrown in the Josh Beckett trade as the "Ahhhh-Get-Him-and-His-GINORMOUS-Contract-Away-From-Us" guy, you gotta try and redeem yourself. Yes, you're the guy who one of my friends based a "One to Mike Lowell" scale on, and yes you're kind of creepy looking, but man have you been playing for that fat contract. Lowell had better numbers than both Manny and Ortiz. That makes me sick to admit. Excuse me for a moment. Okay, I'll feel better gushing over Garrett Atkins, who's such an under-the-radar kind of guy. Yes, he's doing not so well this postseason, but he hit just over .300 in the regular season, and I need to not think about Mike Lowell.
Slight Edge: Red Sox
Left Field:
I wish Manny played for a different team. It actually hurts my heart to like him sometimes. I feel better knowing that he probably doesn't know who he's playing for, the score or where he is half the time. I wish Manny would be Manny sitting in the dugout, rather than hitting homeruns. Who's that guy that my friend Pasha still thinks won the NL MVP? Why, it's Matt Holliday! Now he looks like someone to take home to the parents. (Sorry Varitek and Torrealba.) We're talking about a batting title winner and a guy who hit 30+ homers. He also played in 158 games this year. I love Manny, but Holliday's looking pretty sweet too.
Even
Center Field:
Now here's where it gets dicey. Coco Crisp was named after a cereal and has played so damned well he could be replaced by “that kid who has an extra letter in his name,” Jacoby Ellsbury. Does Tito Francona trust the 24-year old kid who's had six postseason at-bats over the guy who has grounded into double plays in seven of his? He should. Do I hope he knows this? No. Does he read this? We're going with no. However, with Willy Taveras and Ryan Spliborghs splitting time at center and Taveras being a playoff hero for the Rockies, I'm going with a push. Unless, Tito starts Coco in every game.
Even (Unless, Tito starts Coco in every game. DO IT. I dare you.)
Right Field:
Ah, Nancy Drew saved the series. I read the Sports Guy column on J.D. Drew. It was fantastic. (Mr. Simmons, if you like my stuff, please get me a job.) Anyway, I still don't count on the tin man (no heart, get it?!) in Boston's right field to replicate his one game. Let's be honest here. Before Game 6, Red Sox fans were ready to crucify Drew, Scott Boras and Theo Epstein. Then all of a sudden, bases-clearing homer (as my dad likes to put it), and everything's forgiven. I don't blame them. I would do the same for Alex Rodriguez, but let's be honest. Nancy's not doing it again. Brad Hawpe has punished great pitchers like Brandon Webb and Jake Peavy. I'm still mad at him for going 0-4 the day I picked him up, but I can be persuaded to forgive should Hawpe have a great series. In a random note, some ESPN writer picked the Rockies to go all the way before the playoff started and picked Hawpe as the Series MVP. I wonder how much they win if it plays out like that. What would the odds be? Astronomical?
Even (I'm serious.)
Designated Hitter:
Who would even be the Rockies DH? Willy Taveras? Christ Iannetta? Jamey Carroll? Who names their kid Jamey and not James? This is silly.
Huge Huge Huge Edge: Red Sox
Bench:
Okay, here's the good thing. The Rockies, being an NL team, know how to effectively use their bench. They play matchups and work the double-switch because they have to. Who wants Brian Fuentes batting when the game is on the line? Carroll, even though I just made fun of him, is and excellent fielder, and the group of Ryan Spilboroghs, Willy Taveras and Cory Sullivan as the center fielders works. The Red Sox management, on the other hand, has no idea how to use the bench. If Francona hadn't benched Crisp, I could be handicapping the Indians-Rockies series right now. (But seriously, I wouldn't put any effort into that.) Since Wakefield has been left off the roster, Mirabelli might as well wear a banana hammock and a Yankees hat to the game, cause there's no way he's getting in. It's not like he's an offensive threat. Have Alex Cora and Eric Hinske even played this postseason? Did someone set J.D. Drew's hair on fire, or is that some ginger in right field?
Pretty Big, But Not Huge Edge: Rockies
Manager:
After the debacle that was Grady Little and Pedro Martinez, coupled with the 2004 win, Red Sox fans will usually forgive Francona for little mistakes. You can't fault the guy, he makes some pretty good decisions. He kept playing Pedroia. He pulls his starters at the right time, even if it means tiring his bullpen. But he also does dumbass things like riding Crisp, Drew and Gagne even if there's not a chance in hell that they'll succeed. (Yes, I know Drew hit a grand slam. For fuck's sake, I know.) There are things he can't compensate for. Would you really want Mirabelli over Varitek? Oh well, you're just going to have to suffer through Tek's outs. Clint Hurdle was on the hot seat at the beginning of the year. I think it's safe to say his seat is relatively cold. He's managed his team brilliantly over the last month. He brought Taveras back at the right time. The difference between the two teams is that Red Sox fans expect nothing less than a World Series, while it seems like Rockies fans are just glad to be distracted from a crappy Broncos team. Is it better to have the pressure or to be happy-go-lucky?
Big Edge: Red Sox
Intangibles:
Well, we can't gloss over Derek Jeter's aura and mystique. Oh shit. I hate this. Okay, here we go. The Rockies beat the Red Sox twice this season in Boston, beating Schilling and Beckett in blowouts. True, that was in June, but it should be comforting to myself that all three Rockies starting pitchers during that series are scheduled to pitch. And it should be comforting that Jeff Francis pitched a GEM that Thursday in June. It should. Also, do we know how the Red Sox players are going to react to that thin Denver air? You see, I didn't really notice it when I was in Denver, but that Coors Light really gets to you. Do you think Manny will just wonder how he feels so stoned when he left his stash in Boston? I'm kidding. I love Manny.
Even (Only because the Rockies are 2-1 over the Sox. This YEAR.)
So, if I was a betting woman, and I am, I'd take the Sox. But I'm not (taking the Sox, even though I am a betting woman). I hate them too much to hope they win for my own selfish gain. I will bet against the Sox until the day I die. I never understood my Red Sox friends who could parlay a Yankees game. I would feel dirty. Yes I have that Red Sox pen, but I've scratched almost all of the logo off.
So I'm hoping the Rockies win. I am praying to all that is good and holy, please let the Rockeis win. But as I said earlier, I wouldn't be surprised if the Red Sox win. I would just be miserable.
Photo Source: MSNBC.com
One of my favorite things to read is ESPN’s Page 2. I’m addicted. Every morning I read the AM Jump, and I came across a funny blurb regarding Game 1 of the ALCS:
“Do you know there are Red Sox fans as old as 3 who have never witnessed a World Series championship? It's so sad. Even worse: Red Sox fans are breeding.”
What about all those bandwagon fans that hopped on after 2004? That wasn’t their team. They don’t even count. As soon as another charismatic team wins it all you can kiss those pink Boston hats goodbye. I wonder how die-hard Phillies fans will react to pink Cole Hamels jerseys. Blech. (By the way, I just saw a Pepto-Bismol pink Cowboys hat. It was an actual cowboy hat with the Cowboys logo. Gross.)
If you can’t tell, I’m still a little bitter. Thankfully, Cleveland redeemed itself last night. It was a glorious night of Mike Lowell bashing. (Seriously, on a scale of one to Mike Lowell ...) Honestly, if you’re going to lose, you might as well tire your entire bullpen out, throw Gagne out for a third of an inning and let Trot get the game-winning RBI. I was ecstatic. And apparently, according to Linda Cohn, size does matter Grady Sizemore. Yeah I didn’t think it was funny either.
Is anyone in Vancouver not rooting for the Rockies? Yes, Jeff Francis is from North Delta, and yes he pitched for UBC.
So, I was at the Canucks season opener last Friday and I have a few things to say about hockey. For my five American friends, scroll down a couple paragraphs. Anyway, Roberto Luongo is the Derek Jeter of the Canucks. In only his second season, he’s already established that “mystique and aura” feeling in Vancouver. It’s true, and who’s to say he doesn’t deserve it? He really cemented it when he had about 300 saves in the four OT playoff game against Dallas. And the lasting image I have of the Canucks’ exit last year is Luongo seeing Scott Niedermayer’s shot go in and just falling to the ice.
But the biggest reason why Louie is the Derek Sanderson Jeter of the Canucks is because he can do no wrong in the eyes of the fans. Look here, Luongo has played SHITTY in the first three games. He let the game get out of reach early against both San Jose and Philadelphia. Even in the overtime win over Calgary, when we were up by two goals in the third period, he let the Flames come back to tie it. Anyway, I don’t know hockey, so I’m probably annoying some like stupid baseball fans annoy me. Also, I’m sure Louie will be back to form, and if someone is leading us back to the Cup, it’ll be Luongo.
One more paragraph about hockey and I’m done. I don’t know much about hits to the head or the suspensions players should receive. The hit that Ryan Kesler took during the Philly game was absurd. In what other sport does a comparable hit happen? It’s one thing for a pitcher to throw at a batter or a hard foul near the basket in basketball, but Jesse Boulerice cross-checking Kesler in the neck with his stick is ridiculous. I was cheering for fights, because it’s part of the game, but come on.
So, the first BCS Standings came out today, and my Hawaii Warriors are slightly lower than I had hoped at 18. In this season of ridiculous upsets (Stanford hello?) I had hoped Hawaii would at least be in the early teens. Let’s go over this. Hawaii is 7-0 and the only unbeaten team in a non-BCS conference. We have Heisman candidate Colt Brennan (complete with his Hawaii head-map). Strange as it is, Hawaii is having a hard time convincing teams to go to paradise and play a great team. In fact, we’re having a hard time scheduling any tough opponents outside the WAC. It’s totally understandable that Hawaii is low in the computer polls because of our slightly weak schedule. Okay, fair enough. But who would have thought in August, that by week seven, the second-ranked team would be South Florida? Really? What about Florida already having two losses or LSU and Cal losing on the same day?
There are six undefeated teams left: Ohio State, South Florida, Boston College, Arizona State, Kansas and Hawaii. Of the above teams, South Florida and Hawaii have the best chance of running the table this season. Ohio State still has to play a Michigan team, winners of its last five, and in Ann Arbor. Boston College has Virginia Tech, Florida State and Miami left on its schedule. Arizona State has four extremely tough Pac-10 games, including USC, Cal and Oregon. Kansas has played one meaningful game all year. They have to dance through Missouri, Oklahoma State and Texas. South Florida has the edge with Rutgers on the road and Cincinnati at home its only potential stumbling blocks. Hawaii has both Boise State and Washington in Hawaii as its only two tough games.
Now I’m not going to get selfish and try to campaign for Hawaii in the BCS National Championship Game, should they finish 12-0. That would be fucking awesome, but it’s highly doubtful. If anyone has read the ESPN the Magazine article on Colt Brennan, you would have read about how the Hawaii football program makes roughly half of what Boise State makes. When you factor in travel costs, it leaves next to nothing for recruiting. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, should Hawaii run the tables this year and end up as one a few unbeaten teams, they should get a BCS bowl. Hawaii must end up in the top twelve in the BCS standings and be picked as one of the two at-large bids. They could bring about $3.5 million to the program after revenue sharing. Even if they don’t win, I’d be happy. If they don’t go to a BCS bowl, they take home just under $400,000 from the Hawaii Bowl. There are five more weeks of college football. Here’s hoping Hawaii pulls it out and goes to a BCS bowl.
Oh, and today I drafted my very first fantasy basketball team. “Bibby’s Baby Momma” has Gilbert Arenas, Dwight Howard, Ray Allen, Antawn Jamison and Leandro Barbosa. Oh, and in the late rounds, I got Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Haha sweet. Unfortunately, I missed out on my boy Bibby. So, twenty minutes after the draft I received the following trade proposal: Mike Bibby for Gilbert Arenas. Done! Anyway, two weeks until the season tips off. Here we go.
Whew. I managed to cover all three major sports -- and hockey too. At least this month’s post is out of the way.
Photo Source: ESPN.com
Okay, I have to eat my words. Disregard the entire previous post (even if you didn’t understand it Aunty Donna, I still appreciate that you read it). Even though I missed both Game 2 and 3 and most of Game 4 due to work, I couldn’t feel it. I was excited that they made it into the playoffs, but unlike some teams, it’s just not a successful year unless we win it all. And yes, by “we” I mean the Yankees and me. Either way, after hearing the Yanks lost in extras on Friday while I was at the shitty Canucks season opener, followed by the Sox winning on Manny’s homer, I kind of felt it was over. Roger Clemens wasn’t the answer. Chien-Ming Wang definitely wasn’t the answer, especially not on three days rest.
I honestly haven’t felt this awful since the Kings lost to the Lakers in 2002. Sure, I’ve been pissed when the Yankees lose every year in the first round and that the Kings didn’t even come close to making the playoffs last year, but nothing like this. When Sacramento lost in 2002, you could almost feel the hearts of the fans just stop. I can testify to this, even though I was just a new fan at the time. My aunt was in town for my high school graduation and I saw how crushed she was. She hasn’t really been the same ever since. She’s had this chip on her shoulder and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to go away until the Kings win it all. If Sacramento had won in 2002 and come 2007-8 they were as terrible as they’re going to be this coming season, my aunt and I wouldn’t mind (as much). Sure we’d still be pissed that the Maloofs and the city can’t get an arena deal worked out and wonder when Bibby was going to play well again, but we’d have that 2002 banner to look at.
Anyway, I digress. Clearly, the Yankees exit from the 2007 postseason is vastly different from the Kings in 2002. The Kings would have killed the Nets in the NBA Finals, while the Yankees would still have to go through the Red Sox. Also, it was a Game 7. In fact, the 2004 Yankees bear more similarities with the 2002 Kings than do this year’s Yankees. The reason I bring up Sacramento is the feeling I described earlier. It’s a feeling of heartbreak. Yes, New York has the highest payroll in baseball, the highest paid manager, etc. I could go on and on. I’ve accepted that. But the heartbreak for me is that it really is the end of an era. It doesn’t matter if Joe, A-Rod, Posada or Mo comes back next year. I mean, clearly it does matter, but just not to the era. For me it was never the Joe Torre Era, or the Derek Jeter Era. And it was most certainly never the Alex Rodriguez Era. It was an era of Yankee domination. (Okay, there have been periods of Yankee domination before, but I wasn’t alive for any of them, so give me a break.)
Some may argue that it really ended November 2001, when Mariano fell. Some would argue that it really ended October 2004, when the hell froze over. I’m saying it ended when this Yankee fan was not sure they were going to win it all. That was this year. Sure, we came back from 14 1/2 down in June and just rolled through August and September, but I was never comfortable. Believe me, I put up that barrier of confidence in my team, but this was the first time I actually thought, deep down, that my Yankees probably couldn’t pull it off. Last year, I was positive after the Boston Massacre II, they would roll into the World Series. The year before, I thought they could pull it off in Anaheim, but Bubba Crosby proved me wrong. Don’t even get me started on 2004. Every year, I have had full confidence in my team and been utterly shell-shocked when they exit early. This year it was much more guarded.
So there you have it. Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t given up on the Yankees. I believe Joe Torre should be back next year and I hope to all that is holy that Alex will be as well. When it comes down to it, no team has won more championships than the Yankees and no team, every year, gives its fans a better ride. No team gives its players the chance to win every year like the Yankees do. Also, I’m hoping to see both Bedard and Santana in pinstripes come 2009, which would be absolutely sick.
Oh, and for the rest of the playoffs, I’ll be watching with a slightly lowered interest level. I still love the game. When it comes down to it, baseball would have appealed to the casual fan (as they were trying to do this season) if the LCS match-ups were Phillies-Cubs and Yankees-Red Sox. Let’s be serious here. Unfortunately, MLB can’t force the Diamondbacks, Rockies and Indians to just roll over.
I’m throwing my support behind the Indians. Partially because Alex is from Cleveland, partially because I love Grady Sizemore, but mostly because I hate the Red Sox. I like the Rockies coming out of the NLCS, but regardless, I have the AL over the NL in six games. Let it be known that I’m rooting for the Indians, but if the Red Sox win it all, I will definitely not be surprised. (And I am never saying that again.)
Photo Source: Philadelphia Daily News
It’s Tuesday, September 18, 2007, and the Yankees have just cut the Red Sox’ AL East lead to 2 1/2 games. I don’t emphasize this too much, because with the Tigers’ loss, the Yankees have also increased their Wild Card lead to 4 1/2. But you already know this. Even you Mom, because I just told you.
I won’t go overboard because the season is not over, and the Yankees haven’t clinched ... yet. I like how they’re playing and I think their pitching has finally come around. While most of my friends have shifted their focus to football (and here in Canada, god forbid, hockey), I am still watching every baseball game I can. In fact, I was flipping between Seattle-Oakland and San Diego-Pittsburgh. It’s a slow night. I’m waiting for the Big Brother finale to start.
But, just because I can, here are some reasons the Red Sox should be scared, come the postseason:
1) J.D. Drew. Yes, the guy who’s getting paid $14 million a year. Reminder: He’s in year one of five. Anyway, he hit .289 in August and he’s hitting .295 so far in September, but he’s hitting .260 on the year! Not only that, he’s hit only two home runs since June 21st. He’s averaging about 7 RBI per month for July, August and September. They say he’s immune to the Fenway boos (unlike Edgar Renteria), but I don’t think that’s what it is. It’s as if he doesn’t even care. I watched the game where Drew’s homer was called a double at Fenway, when it was clearly gone. Even Eric Hinske said that if it were his “homer,” he probably would’ve been ejected for arguing. He just really doesn’t make Boston fans think he cares if they win, lose or even play. I mean, there’s something to be said about not letting the game get to you, leaving it on the field, blah blah blah. That just doesn’t work in Boston. Boston is a city for guys like Varitek, Papelbon and even Beckett. It’s a town that respects Derek Jeter, even if they hate him, for the way he plays the game (or so I think). That is why Dodgers fans were so elated to get rid of him. How is he going to be in the post-season? Is he going to care?
2) Tim Wakefield. Wake has been a horse for the Red Sox rotation, and after being pretty much lights-out for the first five months of the season, he’s been terrible in September. 12.08 ERA in three starts, including a start against Tampa Bay where he gave up 10 hits in 3 innings. Lucky for him, it was against Tampa Bay, and their bullpen is as bad as ... well, it’s just bad. Anyway, he didn’t get the loss, but it has to be troubling that the guy Greech and I agreed was the most consistent pitcher in the Sox rotation (and Danny Mac agreed as well, as he proceeded to plagiarize our comments) is struggling this late.
3) Manny Ramirez. I love Manny and we all know that. I wouldn’t mind if Julio Lugo or Mike Lowell had been out for almost three weeks with a stomach muscle injury, because I don’t care for them at all. In fact, as a Yankees fan, I would celebrate it. It was only last week that Manny could even swing a bat. My lack of a six-pack shows that I’m no expert on abdominal injuries, but Pilates taught me that the strength of your core has a large impact on your overall strength. ANYWAY, with ten games to go in the season, when is Manny coming back and will he be full strength? And don't give me that Jacoby Ellsbury excuse. When it comes to the postseason, I would much rather have my Yankees face Ellsbury than Manny. The kid may be on a tear, but you can't teach experience. (Or craziness in Manny's case.)
4) Eric Gagne. A while ago, I said that Gagne would be fine -- he is a Cy Young winner, after all. And he did calm down. After that hellish first week as a Red Sox, he’s been better. He hasn’t been Dodgers Gagne, but he’s been better. The problem is he’s only had a perfect inning once (against the Yankees last Sunday). Well, I’m not a pitching coach, so I’m not sure what the problem really is, but I seriously like that the former Cy Young winner is having issues. As my dad said, “Gagne is a spy sent by the Yankees!”
5) Cleveland Indians and Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim). Is there a sillier name in sports than the Angels? No. Anyway, I can’t quote exact stats, but at one point there was no question that the Red Sox would finish with the top record in the AL. Now? Not so fast there buddy. The Red Sox are one game up on the Indians and two games up on the Angels in the win column. All three teams have 62 losses. If the Red Sox manage to hold on to the AL East, they better hope the Angels end up with a better record than the Indians. Cleveland has been terrible against the Red Sox and Yankees and the last thing they want is to give New York an easier road to a possible ALCS clash. From now on, I’m an Indians and Yankees fan. Ladies love Grady (and Derek).
Okay, that’s enough talking about the Nouveau Evil Empire for now. I will be in Vegas just around the time of the World Series. Love it.
Photo Source: NYtimes.com
Danny Mac’s right. I should’ve taken a look at my own site and realized I hadn’t written a thing in over a month before I commented on anything he wrote. So I'll take advantage of the fact that he's MIA and write something before he does.
First things first, the Wily Mo Peña era has officially come to and in Boston. I have to say that I'm quite intrigued in what WMP's position would be with the Washington Nationals. Consensus among the baseball analysts I with whom personally conferred was that WMP would get more consistent playing time with an American League team that didn't already have a DH named David Ortiz. Either way, I'm watching the Mets-Nats game and there he is playing left field. Yes, he missed a ball that could have been caught by a mediocre defender and yes, he's already struck out twice. Actually, scratch that. He hasn't struck out yet, I just checked. It's wrong to assume. So much for responsible journalism. Anyway, he can make a big impact on a team, but does baseball really need another Adam Dunn? Also, he was traded for the exceptional player-to-be-named-later. So this is what you get for Bronson Arroyo. Well, best of luck to you WMP. You were the greatest punch-line among my friends and I, but it was mostly because you were loved by a red-faced Irish kid. (Update: WMP doubled and scored on a single in the 6th inning then hit two homers in his next two games. And the WMP era in Washington has officially begun.)
Onto a slightly less newsworthy item, Barry Bonds has hired lawyers to sue his "detractors." Apparently he's taken Curt Schilling's advice. In case you've forgotten, Schilling told Bob Costas on HBO, "If someone wrote that stuff about me and I didn't sure their ass off, am I not admitting that there's some legitimacy to it?" Well, Schill, Bonds told you his day would come and come it has. In reality, the likelihood of Bonds' charges sticking are slim, but this will make for a great winter. Imagine, Bonds and Schilling will both be free agents and both are not wanted by their current teams. I'm excited. One thing I'm still waiting for: Schilling's response on 38pitches.com. When's it coming, Schill?
I won't say anything about the AL East race, because the Yankees winning it would just be surprising. I'm honestly looking at the Wild Card as a good thing. I won't say anything else about it. But how about them Orioles? What a pain in the ass they have been. After taking two out of three from the Red Sox, they do the same to the Yankees. All I have to say is I can't wait to hear Bob Sheppard say in two years, "Now pitching for the Yankees, Érik Bédard."
Speaking of Franco-Canadians (thank you Wikipedia for letting me know that Bédard didn't learn English until college), what is going on with Eric Gagné? And yes, I do feel it's necessary to include the accents on the French names. They're included on Hispanic names, why not the French? Anyway, I digress. Gagné has given up 10 runs in 6 innings pitched. Now I'm not one to repeat statistics that have been beaten into our heads, but seriously now -- 10 runs in six innings? On the other hand, Gagné is not going to be this bad for the rest of the season. He's a Cy Young winner, for god's sake. It's just really entertaining to watch Red Sox Nation in full panic. EARTH TO RSN: The Red Sox still have Papelbon. They may be pressed, but you should be able to enjoy your AL East title. But the Yankees are going to make the playoffs. Yeah, I said it.
Not that there's a point to discussing any other sport during the summer, but the SuperSonics and the Storm may be moving to Oklahoma City. For those of you not familiar with Title IX or silly filler sports, the Storm is Seattle's WNBA team. You know, I think Oklahoma City really deserves a franchise. They were really great for the Hornets while they were displaced by Hurricane Katrina. But I feel like the Sonics/Storm owners are really heartless. A couple years ago when Seattle had a surprisingly good team and got the 3 seed in the Western Conference, the city really rallied around the team. Yes, the city has a case of "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately," but this is just the time to start getting excited about the Sonics. Good luck to Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis, but it's Kevin Durant time. He was the most exciting player in college basketball last year and he's only going to get better. The city of Seattle was given 90 days to come up with a plan for a new arena or the franchise is moving to OKC. It's unfortunate that the Blazers and Sonics went 1-2 in the lottery because one of them was a lock to move to the Oklahoma/Missouri area. I'm so torn on the issue. However, with the Tim Donaghy scandal, at least I know the Sacramento Kings aren't moving to Vegas, aka Maloof heaven.
Okay that's enough. I'm going to try and be consistent again with the whole posting thing.
Photo Source: MLB.com
Let’s call it “The Curse of Orlando Cabrera.” So it doesn’t have the same roll-off-the-tongue feel as the red-headed stepchild’s favorite curse, but here’s hoping it becomes a legit one. Let’s go over the details.
So the Sox trade Babe Ruth for some money to pay off Fenway Park. Oops, wrong curse. Okay, that one’s been broken. Unfortunately. We’ll go back to Orlando Cabrera’s curse on the Sox.
Yes, Cabrera is still loved in Boston. Yes, he left on good terms, but let’s look at the finer details. The Red Sox didn’t really catch on fire in 2004 until they acquired Cabrera from Montreal in the four-team trade with the Cubs and Twins. I don’t know why I’m explaining this, since my six readers either hail from Boston or know enough about baseball to already know about the trade. Oh, it’s for my mom. Hi mom. Onward.
The Sox made out pretty well. They rid themselves of former favorite son Nomie and the drama that came with him. (Remember the Yanks series when Jeter went into the stands in the bottom of the 12th while Nomar sat on the bench?) While their stats will show that Nomar was a slightly better batter (he hit .321 while Cabrera hit .294) and they had very similar fielding percentages (Nomar with .957 and Cabrera with .966, but more chances), somehow the Red Sox made out better with Cabrera than with Nomar. Maybe it was Nomar refusing to play some games, while Cabrera played strong for the rest of the season. Maybe it was because Cabrera was a Gold Glove winner. Maybe it was because Cabrera just seemed comfortable in Boston. Or maybe it’s because the Sox fans could feel it after he hit a home run in his first at bat. Any way you cut it, the Sox went 56-45 before Cabrera and 42-19 afterwards. Oh, and they also beat the Yankees in the ALCS (Cabrera batted .379 with 5 RBI) and won the World Series. First one since 1918. But you all already knew that. Even you mom.
For some odd reason, the Red Sox decided to let Cabrera go to free agency. Not only did Cabrera leave, but so did Derek Lowe and Pedro. It was almost like the Sox thought, “Well, we did it. We can just relax now.” It wasn’t to cut payroll because the Sox signed Edgar Renteria for $40 million over four years while the Angels signed Cabrera for $32 million over the same time. Crazy shit, I know.
And Renteria brings us into the “Curse of Orlando Cabrera.” Renteria, as well all know, completely assed it up in Boston. He failed to break double-digits in home runs for the first time in seven years. He also struck out 100 times. That’s Wily Mo Peña territory. He also made 30 (!) errors at shortstop, which was more than his two previous years at St. Louis combined. Cabrera, meanwhile, didn’t have that great of a batting year, but only made seven errors and only struck out 50 times.
In what most people call “addition by subtraction,” the Sox rid themselves of Renteria (agreeing to pay $11 million of the rest of his contract, essentially paying $21 million for one year of Renteria), who went on to flourish in Atlanta. Talk about some people being uncomfortable in the Boston limelight. Boy genius Theo brought in Alex Gonzalez to upgrade the fielding. Also, to downgrade the batting. Gonzalez was essentially half the batter Cabrera was that same year for the Angels: half as many runs, half as many hits in half as many at bats. Interestingly enough, Gonzalez struck out more. He's also already hit 13 home runs this year. He hit nine all of last year.
That (finally) brings us to this year. Going into tonight’s game, Julio Lugo, the current pricey Red Sox shortstop, is hitting below the Mendoza Line. He was supposed to be the lead-off man of the future (or at least for the next four years at $36 million). He’s batting ninth tonight. Cabrera’s hitting .328. Quite the difference there.
Okay, all these stats are getting ridiculous. My mom and Eve are getting bored already, if they’ve even read this far. The fact is, the Red Sox have not won a World Series since Cabrera left. Okay, neither have the Yankees. In fact, the Yankees haven’t won a World Series since 2000 (which you already knew) and I like to call that the “Curse of the Moose.” That I probably will never write about.
My point is that the Red Sox have downgraded every year at shortstop. They’ve signed two shortstops to pricey four-year deals and neither has worked out. But I don’t mind at all. I just can’t imagine how (I can’t believe I’m writing this) GOOD the Sox would be if they had a decent shortstop for the last three years.
And while we’re at it, how good they could’ve been if we weren’t still in Boston’s Wily Mo Peña era. Let’s hope this curse continues for eighty-three more years.
Photo Source: MLB.com
Well hello there. I really haven’t been busy, just lazy since I’ve been back from Hawaii. However, I either have mono or strep right now, so while I’m really, really tired and lazy, I’m also extremely bored. When I’m not wallowing in my own sorrows or passed out on the futon, I’m pretty bored. As luck would have it, I got sick on my days off. Super. Did I mention that I’ve been sleeping so much that my back is actually sore? That’s why I have to sleep on the futon.
But I digress. I meant to make some notes about the All-Star Game. Here goes:
1) Hello there Barry Bonds. If this isn’t Big B’s last season, it’s definitely his last All-Star appearance. Somehow those conspiracy theorists in San Francisco actually managed to get Barry and his big head voted into the starting lineup. Now don’t get me wrong, Barry’s tops in the NL in on-base and slugging percentages (but let’s be serious, he’s been walked 84 times already). He’s batting over .300 and he has more home runs than Pujols, Soriano or Beltran. Not sure he’s starting lineup worthy. Maybe they figure if they just let Barry go out with a bang, he’ll just leave MLB alone.
2) Michael Young? Really? That’s probably the one head-scratcher this year. Anyone who knows me knows that I have extreme love for M.Young. And yeah, he’s definitely heated up as the season has gone along, but he’s not an All-Star this year. There’s that rule that every team must have a representative in the game. That’s why we have Freddy Sanchez, Gil Meche and Michael Young. All have pretty good seasons, but not All-Stars.
3) I got to thinking (dangerous, I know) if the MLB could do away with the above rule. It would be bad for small market teams like Pittsburgh and Kansas City, but if All-Star weekend is for the fans, then why do we care to watch these sorta-good players represent really-bad teams? If the MLB did away with the every-team-represented rule, then I think they’d have to do away with fan balloting, which is fine with me. I am sick and tired of seeing things like Mark Loretta being the starting second baseman for the AL last year, just because he was a Red Sox. And it’s not just the Red Sox. A couple years ago Jorge Posada was almost voted into the game by the fans, then he wasn’t even selected by the players or managers. Wow.
4) They’re limiting the amount of kayaks in McCovey Cove during the Home-Run Derby and the All-Star Game. Well, I’m not sure if those balls would really be worth much. It’s the freaking Derby. So these guys can hit 67 mph gold Century 21 baseballs a thousand feet. Anyone remember how many homeruns Bobby Abreu hit after he sent 41 balls out in Detroit? Six that season (he hit 24 total) and twenty total in the two seasons after. See how much it matters?
Okay, enough about the ASG. Here are a few comments about my fantasy baseball leagues (since Danny and Dennis kind of refuse to comment):
1) It’s Tuesday, July 3rd and Hemi’s team has gone 1/32. He also accidentally benched two of his pitchers who went a combined 16 innings with two ER. Oops. Excuse me while I knock on wood, but that’s terrible. Considering I almost popped a vein over the Hemi-Danny Mac trade with my frantic drunk phone call to Greech a couple weeks ago, I think that trade has worked out pretty well.
2) Speaking of trades, in the other league there’s been a lot of controversy over a Todd Helton for Carlos Beltran trade. Essentially one of our bottom-feeders gave his good friend Beltran for Helton, a guy riding the pine. Okay, I’m all for even competition, but it’s also fantasy baseball. One of the guys in front put it best, “You care more if you’re in first place.” It’s true, I don’t give a damn about that trade because it doesn’t make my team any worse or better. If a stupid trade like that (and yes I agree it was a lame trade) in the other league where I’m in first, I would be pissed, but I wouldn’t be holding grudges. IT’S FANTASY BASEBALL. IT’S NOT REAL.
That’s all. I’m first in one league (by 27.5 points, knock on wood) and I’m in tenth in the other league. Expect more if I actually have mono and can bugger out of work for the rest of the week.
Photo Source: The Ranger Rundown, Scott Lucas
Dear Diary,
Hey. It’s me. I’m sorry I’ve been so neglectful lately. I’ve been so super busy flying around being important that I’ve forgotten to write anything. There was the quick trip to Boston to hopefully jumpstart a lucrative administrative assistant career. That was fun (keep your fingers crossed -- all eight of you). Then it was back to my Canadian homeland to work my little butt off babysitting teenagers who sell shoes as a part-time job. Now I’m off to Hawaii to bake in the sun for a week. Oh, and to see who from high school got fat and/or ugly at our five-year reunion.
Oh and I’ve also been busy dominating my ESPN league (knock on wood). Hopefully Mere and I won’t sleep past 7 AM and miss FOX Saturday Baseball (yes, it’s that early in Hawaii). I will be back. Until then, check this out.
Hasta luego,
Me
So this is the game Danny Mac should’ve done a running diary on, but he didn’t. Come on Mac! Schilling vs. Pettitte. Obviously we wouldn’t have known that it would be a rubber match, but oh well. I’ll do it. Unfortunately, drama at the shoe store held me up and I wasn’t able to leave early for a baseball game. So I got home in the bottom of the second and my Yankees are up 3-0. Nice. Oh, and I’m watching the YES broadcast, if that matters. On with it.
4:52pm - Why is Doug Mientkiewicz still playing everyday? And does it piss anyone else off that it takes an extra two minutes to figure out how to spell his name correctly?
4:58pm - Jeter grounds to Lowell, who bobbles it and a run scores. Okay, I’ve got to believe that the only reason Lowell doesn’t get the error is because that hit allowed Jeter to pass DiMaggio on the all-time Yankees hits list. FIST PUMP!
5:00pm - So, I benched Matsui today, because as much as I hate Schilling, he’s a pretty good pitcher. And of course, I come home to a Matsui homer. Sweet. I’ve never been so pissed that a Yankee homered off of Schilling in my life.
5:01pm - Advice from Danny Mac:
HeyUmp47: have a blast....advice...dont try and get every little detail in
HeyUmp47: i did that my first time around and it sucked so i deleted it
lilchika63: hahaha
lilchika63: give me something good to put in
HeyUmp47: WILYS GOIN DEEP
HeyUmp47: thats all i got for now
5:04pm - I’m watching a few other games on TV. There’s a rookie catcher for the Braves named Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Jesus. You’d think they’d name him X with a last name like that. Could you imagine how hard it was for that kid to write his name in the first grade? Oh, and Wily Mo grounded out to Cano. Sorry Mac.
5:06pm - Request from Danny Mac to comment on the Pedroia-Rodriguez “dust up” from last night. All I have to say is that A-Rod runs funny. Every Red Sox fan knows that. Also, he likes to make friends with Red Sox players. BFF with Arroyo, Varitek and Schilling already, why not add Pedroia? He also has purple lips. Lay off.
5:12pm - Nice little “Yankees Suck!” cheer at the Stadium. Followed by a “Let’s Go Red Sox!” Followed by a double by A-Rod. Good stuff.
5:22pm - Manny hits a dribbler to A-Rod, who can’t make the play. I don’t mind too much, because I like Manny. He’s just so crazy. “¡Eh! ¡¿Como está?!” Also, Edgar Renteria is batting for the Braves on TBS. Some people just can’t play in Boston, hey?
5:30pm - In the middle of an intense conversation about steroids in baseball with Danny, Mientkiewicz hits a bomb. So much for that 1-19 slump. Still, I don’t really take MUCH of what I said about him back. Okay, I do. I’m sorry.
5:33pm - Manny conversation:
HeyUmp47: manny has no idea how he just got to that
lilchika63: oh manny
HeyUmp47: gotta love him
lilchika63: i absolutely agree
lilchika63: he's one of the few red sox i really like
HeyUmp47: u cant hate him....hes too retarded to hate....itd be like picking on an autistic kid
5:37pm - And there’s a hit for Wily Mo off a dribbler to A-Rod. Someone get the big guy an oxygen tank!
5:50pm - There are a million reasons why this girl is my best friend. Here is one of them:
mereDITZy: there is little more that i love than watching the yanks smash the crap out of curt schilling.
mereDITZy: that is all.
5:56pm - I love Manny’s head covery thing. Ahhh. And the YES announcers would like us to know that if you rearrange the letters in Lou Piniella, you get Paul O’Neill. Except you have to take out one of the “I’s,” so not really. And Manny decides to score running backwards and give Jorge a little love tap. Oh Manny.
6:14pm - Pretty boring last twenty minutes. And Mientkiewicz gets another hit. What burns me more than him hitting well is that I have to spell his name out.
6:26pm - I always wonder why they still use that warbly recording of “God Bless America” at the Stadium. You’d think they could’ve gotten a better version, or at least a better recording. Just a thought. No offense Kate Smith.
6:34pm - I wish I had benched Andruw Jones instead of Matsui. This is an announcement to all in my fantasy league: Andruw Jones is officially on the trading block. Make me an offer.
6:43pm - Poor Greech. My poor little Celtics fan got his heart broken yesterday when the C’s got the fifth pick. The fifth pick with Doc Rivers. It’s gonna be a rough year. Greech’s official reaction:
DAwwG275: my reaction: almost puke, try not to cry, decide it was too dangerous to drive to a bar in the shape i was in, lie in bed and not sleep all night
6:46pm - Honestly, all this talk about a win tonight putting the Yankees back on track in the AL East is garbage. This is not REALLY a must-win, because now we’re only 9 1/2 games back. ONLY! FIST PUMP! Seriously, I love my Yankees, but let’s be realistic here.
6:51pm - Lowell just flied out to Damon, and when Johnny threw it back in he actually got it all the way to the pitcher’s mound in one throw. Too bad he was supposed to hit one of the middle infielders and missed them both. Farnsworth almost pulled a hammy trying to stop that ball from bouncing away. Oh and tomorrow is Clemens Night on YES.
7:00pm - Someone should pick up Doug Mientkiewicz, the way he’s been swinging the bat. I swear, it’s a hot streak. (Talk about “what have you done for me lately.”)
7:03pm - Okay I’m only commenting on this because it’s the 483rd time I’ve seen it (and if things go well, this will be the last time tonight), but when you’re watching a game on MLB.tv, they don’t show you commercials. They show you the same ad for Dick’s Sporting Goods everytime, then it goes into the equivalent of phone hold music. Anyway, the commercial has a whole bunch of fans in their team’s MLB jerseys and hats and whatnot talking about what baseball is to them. The Red Sox fan says, “It’s about never giving up. Never ever!” The Yankees fan says, “It’s about tradition. It’s about doing what it takes to win.”
Okay I agree with the Yankees one, but the Red Sox one - come on. This commercial better have been filmed before 2004, otherwise I’m gonna be pissed. YOU ALREADY WON! STOP WHINING!
7:07pm - Wily Mo with a leadoff double. PICK HIM UP ALREADY DANNY! I hear he’s a really good clubhouse guy.
7:12pm - Great exchange between Michael Kay, John Flaherty and Paul O’Neill about C.B. Bucknor, the home plate umpire. He has quite the intense punchout call, including a very intense check-swing-yeah-you-went to end the game on Coco Crisp. It’s like he’s taunting you with that called third strike. Player of the game goes to Bucknor. Game over.
So, we’ve closed to 9 1/2 back of the Red Sox. Sigh.
Photo Source: MSNBC.com
I'm taking a week off from work, so I've basically been sitting around my house doing nothing. And I'm getting paid! I must admit, it's getting a little boring, and it's only been two days, but I think I can manage.
I've set a reminder for every baseball game airing in Vancouver for the next five days. I've also watched the first two episodes of "The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll" about eight times each. They're reruns obviously, but I loved that show, and have no problems watching it again. One of my girlfriends Jade summed it up best. These "bands" like Pussycat Dolls and Danity Kane are slutty, and we like it. Anyway, I have to say I'm a little pissed that Asia won, because my girl Melissa R. had a way better body and was more suited for PCD, but I digress.
Did you know Andre Ethier of the Dodgers has "Forgot About Dre" as his entrance music? Hah, it took me a few seconds to put two and two together. Ahh, this is just beautiful. Red Sox fans will absolutely empathize with Dodger fans right now. The Dodgers were just getting creamed 8-0, so Grady Little pulled a bunch of his starters. Now it's the bottom of the ninth, and the Cardinals are up 8-4, two outs, bases loaded. It should be Jeff Kent that's up, but he's already been pulled. He probably could have pinch hit someone else, but his bench was practically empty. Oh Grady.
In one of my leagues, one of the more lame scoring categories is complete games. I finally got my first, thanks to Matsuzaka, and I went up 4.5 points just from that. That's ridiculous. You don't get one home run and go up almost 5 points, at least not in the middle of the season. One guy gets 13 points just for having three complete games. Three guys still don't have a single complete game. Mikey, you can't kick me out now, but what a bad decision.
It's too bad that Conboy had Matsuzaka on the bench today. I'm sorry buddy, but you're not doing much to convince me that you're a better fantasy player than Mac thinks you are. I'm pretty choked because I lost a lot of points today, and I've only got half a point up on Greech. I'm getting a little nervous.
Mac tried to trade me Clemens, who he picked up twenty minutes after the announcement, for Alex Rios, who just happens to be one of my best outfielders. I offered him Rios for Cole Hamels a week ago and he agreed at first, then declined. Hmmm. Well, once again, someone's trying to play me as the stupid girl. I quote, "Figured I could get you to bite on Clemens, being a crazy Yanks fan ... I wish you were dumber so I could exploit this."
As for the actress who will play me when Greech and Mac become famous, I’ve been thinking. If Greech can have Matt Damon (!) play him, then I’m going with Lucy Liu.
Probably gonna have more than the standard one post a week, since I have nothing better to do. Prepare yourself for some deep thoughts.
Photo Source: The CW
A few days ago, Curt Schilling went on a rampage against Barry Bonds. Everyone is joking that Schilling must be some private investigator, but I have a different take. Basically, Barry won’t tell the media anything about himself, but he has no problem confiding in BFF Schilling. Well, now we all know that Schilling is nothing but a big, big blabbermouth when it comes to keeping secrets. He would have totally been booted out of the tree house by my group of girlfriends when we were seven. That is just something you do not do to your girlfriends. Now all Bonds has to do is think of something really, really mean to write about Schilling in his burn book. Duh.
Officially, Schilling claims that Bonds admitted to adultery, tax evasion and cheating on the game. Officially, Bonds has never admitted to any of it. It would be really sweet for Bonds to hit the record breaking homer off Schilling. Unfortunately, when the Red Sox play the Giants, they plan in Fenway. There is no way that the Giants would let Barry hit 755 or 756 anywhere else except San Francisco. Could you imagine what happened if that ball landed in the bleachers at Dodger Stadium? I mean, honestly, that ball is that fan’s ticket to a life of luxury, but I wouldn’t put it past some stupid fans to just freak out and throw it back.
I’ve been thinking about the controversy surrounding Bonds. I’m wasn’t 100 percent sure how I felt about Bonds breaking the record until one of my guy friends let me know his take on it: Why care if Bonds breaks Aaron’s home run record, because A-Rod’s just going to break it as well? And yes, the guy’s a Red Sox fan. It makes sense. Rodriguez has 100 more home runs than Bonds did at the same age (31). Even though Barry went on a suspicious tear after he turned thirty, A-Rod is showing no signs of slowing up. Give him at least another nine seasons after this one, and he’ll be 40.
Okay, let’s say Bonds finishes this season and does one more, probably finishing with about 780 home runs for his career - another 35. A-Rod would then need 301 homeruns from today on. (I’m typing this as a Yankees game is playing, so maybe he’ll get a jump on my analysis.) In nine and a half seasons, he’d only need to hit an AVERAGE of 31 a year. Anyway, I won’t get into the math, because I majored in sociology (but in my defense, I wasn’t that bad - I attribute it to being Asian). Tim Kurkjian of ESPN has a nice little article about the 500 home run club.
Moving on, Josh Beckett just won his seventh game of the year. I am crying myself to sleep over this, and not just because he’s helping the Red Sox end my Yankees run of AL East titles. One of my more misinformed guy friends is convinced Beckett will win the Cy Young. Okay, he’s been pitching well, but he’s not even the best pitcher on his team (that would be Papelbon or Schilling), let alone the best pitcher in the AL. So, I gave him 50-1 odds on Beckett vs. the field. I think I’ll be okay, but every time I see Beckett put up another win, I get a little more worried.
Lastly, I’d like to respond to Greech’s comment on my last post. First, yes I want my certificate - you know my address, D. Second, I lost all respect for Danny Mac’s team when he accidentally dropped Jake Peavy. I still haven’t gotten a chance to figure out what the hell happened, but if he didn’t have a higher waiver order than me, I would have Peavy. Third, it was just a matter of time before Clemens signed. We all knew it.
One more thing: good on Stahl for figuring out how to dominate in several categories in our league. We all have Conboy to thank for not putting a cap on waiver acquisitions, so Stahl has been dropping and picking up different pitchers everyday. Of course he’s killing in innings pitched, strikeouts and wins, just because he has more chances. Whatever, I still want my certificate.
Photo Source: MLBlogs.com
A month of baseball season is done. What? You want to know what I think? Okay!
1. First of all, I’m in first place in one of my pools. Wow. Thanks to a little drafting help from one of the boys in my other pool, I’ve managed to steal first place from Dennis' possibly better team, but it’s by the smallest of margins. Not sure how long it'll last, but at least I won a month! Really, I think it’s a two horse race, with maybe a couple other teams pushing it (and that does include your team Danny, but only because you have Roy Halladay). Really, I do know my baseball, but I definitely won’t get started on making that trophy. It’s a long season.
2. The Yankees are in last place. LAST PLACE! Jeter said it right when he talked about how it’s not Joe’s fault that our pitching staff couldn’t pitch in the Little League World Series. Well, he didn’t say that exactly, but I like to infer. And the one game we win against the Red Sox in the past two weeks, we lose ANOTHER pitcher. Then Phil Hughes is throwing a gem, and he pulls a hammy. Carl Pavano’s DL party claims more victims. Either way, I doubt Torre will be fired during the season, unless this ungodly slide continues (which it won’t). Eventually the Yankees will regroup and probably limp into second in the AL East. I’m not sure they’ll make the playoffs, but hey, it’s only May and they haven’t thrown $100 million at Clemens just yet.
3. Speaking of Clemens, if he won’t pitch for the Astros, how can one be so sure he’ll pitch for the Yankees? The analysts keep saying that the Astros need to get their asses in gear because Clemens won’t pitch for a last-place team, but last I checked, the Astros aren’t in last place. The Yankees are. Oh man, I better start saving for that vacation.
4. So I may be in first place in one pool, but I’m definitely a cellar dweller in the other pool. It’s really hard to have a consistently good team in a league of thirteen. And I didn’t know how to draft at that point. Also Manny has been absolutely terrible for me. Plus I'm the only girl! (Funny how that doesn't hurt me in the other league, but minor details.)
5. The Red Sox have a really good team. And they have a really good rotation. Sox fans can stop whining about Tavarez being terrible because 1) he really hasn’t been and 2) he’ll be going back to the bullpen soon anyway when Jon Lester comes back, which is even scarier. It’s sad because the Sox haven’t even had Manny play that well. And their middle relief is terrible, but it doesn’t even matter because their middle relievers are rarely used. Papelbon has officially taken over Mariano Rivera’s spot as the most intimidating closer in the game. Nobody sneers at a batter like he does. Did I mention I hate Curt Schilling? (Don’t take this paragraph as a white flag from a Yankees fan, because it’s not. I’m simply stating that the Red Sox had a crazy April.)
6. Alex Rodriguez has fourteen (14!) homeruns. Of course, he slowed up a little at the end of the month. I think it’s kind of indicative of a typical A-Rod season: red hot at the beginning, ice cold at the end. Oops, I mean, A-Rod has done a terrific job. Keep on keepin’ on, A-Rod.
7. Moving on to another sport, did anyone notice the NBA Playoffs are on right now? This is the first season in a while that I haven’t been really into basketball, and I know it’s because the Kings aren't in it and that breaks my heart. I did get to see them play in Boston, but a slightly crappy team playing against a really crappy team does not equal a good game. The problem with my Kings is that they weren’t playoff material (and even if they were, they were first-round exit material), but they weren’t extremely bad, lottery bound material. Unlike Celtics and Grizzlies fans, I couldn’t even hope that my team would lose!
8. The NFL draft just finished. I probably know the least about football, but I do know that the Patriots drafted that guy from the U who was stomping on people during the Miami-Florida International brawl. Speaking of athletes with sparkling records, that guy who was kicked off Boston College’s basketball team, likely for drug use, should still be drafted in June. I wish I could make millions of dollars and still be a degenerate.
9. Apparently Tom Brady bought Gisele a Cartier bracelet for being so supportive of him throughout the Bridget Moynahan pregnancy media circus. Could you imagine if your mother was Bridget Moynahan, your father was Tom Brady and your step-mother was Gisele? I think they should set aside money for therapy bills instead of college.
10. And the Canucks just lost Game 4 in OT, when they were up 2-0. Now they go back to Anaheim, down 3-1 in the series. Goddamnit. I will drag myself out of bed tomorrow, sick or not, for post-game drinking. We’ll either be celebrating as the Canucks stave off elimination, or crying into our beers, like we did Tuesday night. I hear beer is really good for sore throats.
More later.
I just randomly picked my ears up during the Angels blowout of the Tigers and heard the BEST commentary ever. A little background before I throw this one on you: Kelvim Escobar is pitching is first game since returning from the DL and he’s got a six-run lead in the top of the 6th. The bases are loaded and there’s one out. Justin Speier is warming up in the bullpen.
Okay here it is. I don’t know the names of the commentators but one of them just said (of Speier), “That’s right. They might turn to Speier -- to put out the FIRE!” The other one just went silent. Okay, I don’t know if this is a saying they’ve been using for Speier, but I still love it.
Even better exchange just happened with my sister:
Announcer: “And K-Rod walks him.”
Sissy: “A-Rod plays for the Tigers now?”
Me: “No! K-Rod! Angels!”
Sissy: “Kevin Rodriguez?”
Me: “Francisco.”
Sissy: “What’s the ‘K’ stand for?”
Me: “Strikeouts.”
Sissy: “But he walked him!”
And she’s right. K-Rod’s not living up to his nickname right now. Anyway, the only reason I’m including this fluff is because I’m putting off writing about a pretty bad weekend. My poor, poor Yankees got swept at Fenway. To make things worse, I was at Fenway when they blew the four-run lead -- with Mariano Rivera on the mound! Imagine going from subdued elation (an oxymoron, I know) to complete shock. That is how I felt. I went with three Red Sox fans, all of whom preceded to drink their faces off at the game. I didn’t want to be a bad winner, so that’s where the subdued elation came in. But as soon as the Sox came back they were rubbing it in my face. Lame. But, for the good of the group, I guess it’s okay the Sox won that night. It would have been awful to party after the game with a bunch of drunk, sad Sox fans.
On Sunday, I was sitting around watching the Matsuzaka game when Manny hit a homerun. I cheered, because I think Manny’s funny and he’s on my fantasy team. I figured, no biggie, just one run. Then J.D. Drew hit a homerun. Then Lowell. At this point I announced to the room that I would have a heart attack if Jason Varitek hit one. Almost positive that my heart would go on, it got some giggles. We all know what happened next. So I went and finished packing in defiance and missed Jeter’s homerun. That’s how good of a night it was for me.
Moving on from that great weekend, I flew home in time to watch Game 7 of the Canucks playoff series. Nobody really wanted to meet up at a bar to watch it because we didn’t really want to be there in case they lost, but thankfully (THANKFULLY!) the Canucks won. Okay, that’s enough hockey for you Americans.
Another series at Yankee Stadium this weekend. Let’s redeem ourselves, okay?
Thankfully I have the day off after that crazy game last night. I randomly turn on Sportsnet while eating some strawberries and brown sugar and whom do I see? Only the author of the vaunted blog 38Pitches.com. Yes, it was Curt Schilling, my least favorite athlete of all time on Chris Myers’ show. To recap, I mean it’s only a thirty minute show, but wow was it good.
So I missed the first bit, but he did touch on the whole weight situation. Curt was a big fatty when he came into camp, but he still maintained that he was “in shape, but just a little bit heavier that expected.” Okay, it’s okay for one of my employees to be a little on the heavy side, as long as they’re healthy. I, however, don’t pay my employee $13 million to throw a baseball. If you’re job somewhat depended on the shape you were in, wouldn’t you take the most extreme precautions (save for HGH) to ensure that you were in the best shape of your life? What a self-preserving bastard.
Okay, he also talked about Matsuzaka, and how he’s trying to learn Japanese to converse with Daisuke. YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. They talked about Curt’s role in the clubhouse and whether or not he thinks he’s the ace of the staff. I think the thought of playing Tonya Harding to Matsuzaka’s Nancy Kerrigan has SERIOUSLY crossed his mind. I just don’t think he could find a band of hooligans with a metal pipe.
Here we go with the bloody sock. He’s challenging anyone who thinks it’s ketchup to call the Hall of Fame and do a DNA test. And now they’re showing lowlights of Game 6 of the ALCS. Excuse me while I shield my eyes. Curt is talking about how he just put his faith in God for that game. And now we get into Curt and religion and politics. Ugh, excuse me while I gag. Chris Myers looks a little uncomfortable so he quickly changes the subject.
Lose the DH? Curt wants to lose the DH? Doesn’t he realize that David Ortiz played a big part in him winning his second World Series? Is he an idiot? Do I want an answer to this question?
Photo Source: USA Today
Well that was just the longest fucking game ever.
Sorry for calling the overtimes.
PS, You wouldn’t understand any of this if you weren’t Canadian.
Photo Source: NHL.com
I love that baseball season has started. Technically it started last night, but it really started today. I made my dad get the sports package, so I’m flipping through three games right now (even though there are seven on). What I like about the sports package is you get the local coverage as opposed to national coverage like ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. They’re always so biased, some more than others. I’ve decided that the worst commentators are the Chicago White Sox guys. I got really tired of them during the 2006 season, because they kept pumping up the whole defending world champions thing and kept talking up shitty players like Scott Podsednik. And I can’t STAND that “He gone!” thing they do for strikeouts. It’s grammatically incorrect and fucking annoying.
Honestly, I don’t understand how commentators can just ignore the stats. I mean, in baseball you can turn anything into a “good stat.” I think last year Chien-Ming Wang of the Yankees led the league in double plays induced with two outs (at Yankee Stadium or Camden Yards, between the hours of 3pm and 8pm on Mondays and Thursday in June and August). Seriously, I could make Cesar Crespo look like an amazing hitter as long as I threw an asterisk up there with the stat’s limitations.
I think the best local coverage is Boston’s NESN, only because RemDawg is just ridiculous. My favorite Jerry Remy moment from last year was when he was talking about the Red Sox infield (which last year was Kevin Youkilis, Mark Loretta, Alex Gonzalez, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek). You know that Santana song “Oye Como Va”? Well Remy was taking about how he shortened the last names of the infield to “YoLo GoLo Va” and sang it in the same tune as the Santana song. And he made a shirt for it too! He is just too much, and I love it. I also love how when the Sox game gets boring Don Orsillo and RemDawg just banter about completely irrelevant things, like the Phillies mascot being fat or barbeque in Kansas City. Also, even though they are really biased towards the Red Sox, they’re knowledgeable about the sport and the players. Also, RemDawg has a hotdog stand named after him. Isn’t that just great?
An aside: The play-by-play guy, Jamie Campbell, for the Toronto Blue Jays just said, “It’s almost like there’s no in-between. [Troy Glaus] is either going to get on base, get a homerun or get out.” Isn’t that how things normally work? I think he meant Glaus would walk, homer or strikeout, because he does all three regularly. But this is what pisses me off about commentators, and especially about sports show anchors. They pronounce player names incorrectly (Andre Iguodala and Anderson Varejao, much?) and say some weird things. Daru Dhillon (Double D’s), the morning show anchor for Sportsnet (Canada’s answer to ESPN), just sounds like she is bored. And her timing is always off. In-game commentators are different because it’s live and they games move quickly, but pronouncing names incorrectly is so annoying to me. It may be because I grew up having people mispronounce my name.
Anyway, I scheduled myself off for today (it’s so nice to be in charge of things like that). I have both TVs on to different games and both front pages of my fantasy leagues open. I’m a little too excited for this, even though last night’s game didn’t do much for me. In fact, it was a very crappy Opening Night game. First of all, I’m not a fan of the NL in general. I’m in the camp that loves the DH. How else could crappy first basemen who allow more runs than they produce get into games? How many games do you think the Yankees and Red Sox would lose if Jason Giambi and David Ortiz had to play first for them? No, I love the DH. The only teams worth watching in the NL are the Dodgers, the Phillies and the Mets. And even though the Mets were playing last night, the game still sucked. The only reason people outside of NL cities watch NL games? It’s fantasy baseball mixed leagues. That’s it. It’s the only reason I’m watching. That and to see which great player will take the money and become a Yankee.
Since I’m in two different leagues, with two completely different lineups, I’m almost confusing myself as to which players to root for. Especially when my pitcher is pitching to my batter. It’s gonna be a great season.
So, who wins tonight’s basketball game? I’m hoping for an Ohio State victory, only because it would suck to be owned by the same school twice in the same year -- and in the two most watched college sports. If they lose tonight (in the words of the immortal Pedro Martinez) the might as well tip their hat and call the Gators their daddy. (Who’s your Daddy? Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap.)
It’s time to settle in for a great Monday for sports. And it’s only 1pm.
Photo Source: DeRok.net
I understand that I am the only girl in my pool. I understand that I’m the only virgin fantasy baseball player. I understand that I’m not the most athletic person who knows a little about sports. I understand these things. Do you?
Okay, I love my guy friends, but I think they underestimate my baseball intelligence. I might not have the right mindset for fantasy baseball (I only half-cheered at Matsuzaka’s five-inning gem yesterday, when I should’ve been ecstatic -- the whole Red Sox thing still gets in my way), but I’m getting there. I keep receiving the most bogus trade requests ever. EVER EVER. They’re trying to play to my emotional, girly side.
I’ve received the following two trade proposals in the past week (but I won’t name the offending parties):
1) I get Jonathan Papelbon, Andy Pettitte and Todd Helton for Joe Nathan and Manny Ramirez.
2) I get Robinson Cano and Kelvim Escobar for Daisuke Matsuzaka and Ian Kinsler.
Now, the first guy knew I like Papelbon and wanted him from the beginning. He threw Pettitte in because he knew I was a Yankees fan -- not because he thought I’d want him on my fantasy team, but because he’s a Yankee. Okay, fair enough. To sweeten it, he threw in Todd Helton. Now, I already have two first basemen in Ryan Howard and Kevin Youkilis (who plays everyday, so I plan on using him at my utility position). I’m not sure how or where I would use Todd Helton, so there’s that. And my outfield is crap without Manny. Why would I trade him? So, I ask my guy friend how he managed to pull that proposal out of his ass and I get the following reply: “Well, I figured I might as well give it a shot. I mean, you could’ve been the GIRL that accepted it, right?”
Now the second guy is a Red Sox fan. He knows that I loathe having Matsuzaka and was trying to help me with this problem. That is until I mentioned how pissed I was that he picked up Cano seconds before I was about to draft him. Now I would have considered a trade of Kinsler (because for second base it would have to position for position) and Matsuzaka for Cano and Brandon Webb. Or Kinsler and Chris Capuano for Cano and Dontrelle Willis, but this guy was literally giving me crap for a really great pitcher. Okay, maybe my trade proposals aren’t great for him, but maybe we just shouldn’t make a trade. We don’t have fair players. He played on the whole “Cano’s a Yankee” aspect of it as well. And he did a 180 with the Matsuzaka/Red Sox part, too. He went from “he’ll-be-your-fantasy-stud” to “he’s-unproven-in-the-MLB.” Wow.
(For my girlfriends who read this just because I asked them to, it’s okay that you didn’t understand that Kinsler/Cano/Matsuzaka part. Statistics -- you know.)
Now, given the aforementioned skill set I have for FANTASY baseball, these might be fair assessments -- if I were a complete idiot. Now I love these kids and they had good intentions, but I am seriously questioning the amount of faith they have in me. Did I mention I’m No. 2 in the basketball tournament pool? I have some kind of sports knowledge. I’m not pulling this out of nowhere. Yeah, it is my first time though -- go slow, but not THAT slow.
And I’m not ranting. I’m not pissed at all that they think they can get away with these trades. I actually think it’s really funny. And when I called them both on it, they knew that I knew they were trying to fuck with my team. It just makes me want to beat them even more. Oh, and I was invited to another fantasy baseball league, one that was also previously "No Girls Allowed." Nice.
Opening Day is in five days and fantasy baseball season kicks of for me on Monday. I’m nervously excited.
Photo Source: Bodog Beat
I know this is supposed to be a fantasy baseball diary, but it’s March Madness and it would be sports sacrilege not to even mention the tournament. Did I forget to mention that I’m in a tournament pool as well? I’m not the ONLY girl -- my sister is in it, too. Last week, the first and second rounds, were really painful. Not because most of my upset picks failed to go through, although that was a part of it, but because I worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I had to resort to phone calls, text messages and catching parts of games on this hair salon’s tiny TV while on my break. I think they caught on to my creepster routine of hanging around outside their doors, because I did it for the end of the World Series as well as the second round of NFL playoffs games. So, I made sure to schedule myself off early enough to catch all of tonight’s games. Sometimes it’s good to be in charge of all the scheduling.
(It’s pretty bad working in a mostly female environment when you’re a sports fan, even as a girl myself. I feel like I’m the only son in a family with five girls. I can’t talk about sports to ANYONE. I constantly have to explain things to my girls and I just don’t know how much longer I can take the blank stares. I didn’t have the guys the whole weekend and I wanted to just die.)
Recap of my picks: I hate Duke with a passion. I’m not a North Carolina fan, just a fan of every single other team that deserves to be seeded higher than Duke, but gets shafted because of the “legend” that Duke isn’t (Laettner’s miracle shot, Krzyzewski, etc.) And I’m not going to lie: I had to look up how to spell his name. Anyway, I had Duke losing in the first round. Basically, I had both the Duke and the Wisconsin upsets, but everything else went chalk, so I missed a couple of games. And thank you Texas, for losing to USC. Thanks for screwing my bracket. At least it was just a little, not like everyone else’s.
Okay I’m watching the Southern Illinois-Kansas game. What is a Saluki? Wikipedia says it’s a dog. Okay, that’s cool. In Hawaii, we were a meteorological phenomenon for a long time, so I guess I can’t hate. I think it was last year that one of their cheerleaders, I think she was Asian, fell on her back during the halftime and cracked her vertebrae. These are the things I think of when I think of Southern Illinois. That and their point guard, Tatum, kind of looks like a girl when they’re on the wide-angle shot. He has thick, pretty cornrows, and he keeps them out of his face with a headband. It’s one of those Nike ones, but he doesn’t wear it on his forehead like most guys do. He actually wears it like a girl would wear a headband. He’s killing, so it’s okay. Anyway, I have Kansas going to the championship game, so I’m needing them to win it.
Ten minutes later, it was kind of a sellout ending. Save for the missed free throws, the buzzer beater could have only tied the game. That’s no fun, because you know the better team always wins in overtime. Hah. Whatever, I got points! Whoo! It’s too bad that everyone else in my pool got points too. Except one random guy, who picked the Salukis.
What I love about watching games in Canada is they have all the games on satellite on Score54, so they do your channel surfing for you. Whenever one game goes to commercial, if the other one is in action, you get to see that. It’s pretty cool during the first round when there are eighteen million games going on at a given moment. This is laziness at its best. I don’t even have to use my energy to hit LAST.
Okay, here we go with Texas A&M and Memphis. Some guy is hurt for Memphis, but they’ve won something like seven billion straight because they play in a weak conference. What a game. It’s in San Antonio, so everybody’s an Aggie today. Pretty close game, but I have A&M going to the Final Four, so it’d be nice if they didn’t bracket bust me.
Five minutes later, it’s A&M up by 1. Acie Law IV just misses a fucking breakaway lay-up! Ouch! This sucks. Okay, here we go. HELLO DEFENSIVE REBOUNDS! Three chances to get a defensive rebound and not a chance. Instead they foul. The Aggies are supposed to have a great coach. Well, I guess there’s nothing he can do from the bench. And what was that? Fucking bracket busters.
Before the second set of games really get going here are a few things I really dislike about college ball. I despise the two half set. I don’t understand why they do halves in college basketball. In football, it’s the same in college and the pros. Why don’t they prepare their players for the pros by going with quarters? It’s especially important now that high school players have to play at least one year of college ball. If it’s because of the length of the pro game versus college, then just make it ten-minute quarters. Also, I don’t like how the three-point line is closer to the basket. I also don’t like the bonus/double bonus foul shot concept. I guess it makes sense with a five foul format, but I don’t understand it. I guess it rewards better foul shooters, but how many times do you see good free throw shooters still make the second shot after missing the first. It comes back to KILL some teams. It’s not fair because the rebounders are in movement, which can distract some shooters. Actually, who am I to comment on any mechanical element of any sport? I suck at sports -- clumsiest dancer you’ll ever meet. Except, I’m really good at wiffle ball. Hah.
There’s a Canadian on Pitt. Shit, I have to go to my second job soon (which entails pressing Play/Pause on a CD player and looking cute giving out bonus points -- more on this later). Last week, during the first round of games, I was at the bar I work at, and they had one teeny-tiny TV with the basketball games. Of course, all the plasmas and projection TVs had the hockey game on. I wish Canadians cared more about March Madness.
And of course they had two little TVs with the games on. But don’t worry! They had the Anaheim-Phoenix hockey game and the Sacramento-Phoenix basketball game on. Normally I wouldn’t mind that a Sacto game was on, but come on, it was against the Suns. Might as well not play and just give Nash & Co. the win (which is exactly what happened).
How did Ohio State come back from a twenty-point deficit? Sooner or later, and I’m thinking it’s sooner, their strategy of sending the Columbus High JV team in for the first half is going to backfire. You heard it here first. Four more games tomorrow. Somebody text message me updates. Please?
Photo Source: Georgetown Hoyas
Have you ever read Sports Guy's book? You really should. Unless you're a Yankees fan, in which case you should only read the first 200 or so pages. In fact, you should probably just burn the last hundred something pages. Just pretend they don't even exist. (In case you don't have ESPN as one of your bookmarks, a quick rundown on the book: Sports Guy aka Bill Simmons is a HUGE Red Sox fan. After the 2004 World Series, he compiled his columns from ESPN into a book. Basically, he's a funny guy -- but damn he loves those Sox. I can respect that.)
I started and finished the book during my last visit to Boston. I didn't have the luxury of a working fireplace. Well, actually I'm pretty sure the fireplace worked. It wasn't mine and I just didn't know how to work it -- give me a break, I grew up in Hawaii. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this up is because I've been thinking about my Matsuzaka pickle.
Some background here: I love almost everything about Boston and New England except the Red Sox. I dislike most things about New York, especially the pollution, traffic and angry people. Consider the fact that I lived about three hours from New York and an hour and a half from Boston for four years and only made it down to NYC about three times (versus countless visits to Boston). I don't know why, but I just feel like New England has a lot more history than New York does. I also hate the Knicks - a lot. Not really sure why that is.
If/when I move to Boston, I could handle being a Celtics fan. I'm a Sacramento Kings fan, and they only play each other twice. And seriously, it's not very likely that both teams will make the NBA Finals in the next millennium, which would force me to choose between the two, so that's fine. I could also handle being a Patriots fan, partially because I already kind of got into the whole Pats thing. I watched the heartbreaking Pats loss to the Colts earlier this year while I was in Boston. I actually felt upset. Anyway, two out of three ain't bad right?
But, I absolutely love my Yankees. Love them. And in my defense, it's not just because they were good when I was growing up. Anyone remember the early 1990s? Before the 1994 player strike? I'm talking about when the just SUCKED. Poor Donnie Baseball, he never made it to the World Series. And right after he retired, they win it all. Anyway, growing up in Hawaii, we just didn't have a local team (duh) so I guess you could say I picked a team.
My dad, sister and I were watching some night game in 1991 or 1992. The Bombers were playing in Anaheim and the Yankees were just getting killed. I mean just slaughtered. I think it was about 5-0 or 6-0 for the (California) Angels, when my dad turned to my sister and I and told us to pick teams. My sister, three years older, picked the Angels because they were winning (and she's such a bandwagon jumper like that). So I was left with the losing Yankees. I had hope, yes I did. And Christ, did they just crush my little seven year-old heart. I might have even cried. Then I probably played with my Barbies. I think if you go to BaseballAlmanac.com, you can find the actual game. I asked my dad if he remembered the night. It was kind of a waste, because my dad, bless his heart, can't even remember how old I am now or my birthday, let alone some random night fifteen summers ago. He's a Cubs fan. Maybe it's better that he can't remember the past.
Now, I'm a loyal person. I stayed with my team. It's not my fault they became winners. I could have become a Braves fan after 1995, like my sister did. (In her defense, she did go to Atlanta that summer and saw a few games. At least, I think it was that summer. I was eleven. Forgive me if my memory's a little fuzzy. Her bandwagon jumping did make for a great 1996 World Series competition between us, though. Guess who won.) One thing I really didn't realize living in Hawaii: the intensity of the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. In Hawaii all we had when I was growing up were the women's volleyball UH-Stanford, men's volleyball UH-UCLA and football UH-BYU rivalries. As big as those were (and believe me, they were huge), there's no way they could have prepared me for the magnitude of Red Sox-Yankees.
I think my first taste of the rivalry came my freshman year of college. If you didn't know, I went to school (go Mt. Holyoke!) in western Massachusetts. It's safe to say that I was surrounded by Massholes, being near the center of Red Sox Nation. (Don't forget, New England is quite a large region.) I was settling into my free life as a college student and decided to take an October trip to Boston to visit some friends. PLAYOFFS! Yeah, it was 2002 and the Yankees were in it, but the BoSox weren't. (Tear.)
We were at some club or bar or something when the Yankees lost to the Angels. My friend's roommate was from the Bronx or Harlem or something like that and he was crushed. I couldn't believe Sox fans were actually taunting him. They didn't even make it into the playoffs! I guess that's when I realized Sox fans were just sad, sad people who (sometimes, at least) would rather see the Yankees lose than the Sox win. Of course, I was still in Massachusetts for 2003 (man, did those Red Sox fans love it when the Marlins won). I think the cries of pain after Aaron Fucking Boone hit that homer soothed my little heart. But, I was also there for 2004. Let's just say I might have gotten what I deserved.
Okay, back to Sports Guy and Matsuzaka. He says it's not okay to root for your fantasy guys if they're playing against your team. What makes the Matsuzaka pickle (and how good is that word, thank you The Sandlot) even worse is that he plays for my most hated team. Should I bench him if he's playing the Yankees? Plus, I have Manny. Do I bench him, so I can be happy in both fantasy and real baseball if/when he goes 0-5? Furthermore, what if it's Matsuzaka vs. Mussina? Do I bench both of them so I can just watch the game in peace? The game I'm watching in Boston is the 17th for the Red Sox and the 16th for the Yankees. Depending on who the Opening Day starters are for both teams, there's a very good chance it could be Matsuzaka vs. Mussina.
Maybe I'll just get so drunk that night I'll just forget I even play fantasy baseball. For that night, and that night only. And you can bet your ass I'll be cheering for the Yankees.
Photo Source: NNDB
