Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I love that baseball season has started. Technically it started last night, but it really started today. I made my dad get the sports package, so I’m flipping through three games right now (even though there are seven on). What I like about the sports package is you get the local coverage as opposed to national coverage like ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. They’re always so biased, some more than others. I’ve decided that the worst commentators are the Chicago White Sox guys. I got really tired of them during the 2006 season, because they kept pumping up the whole defending world champions thing and kept talking up shitty players like Scott Podsednik. And I can’t STAND that “He gone!” thing they do for strikeouts. It’s grammatically incorrect and fucking annoying.

Honestly, I don’t understand how commentators can just ignore the stats. I mean, in baseball you can turn anything into a “good stat.” I think last year Chien-Ming Wang of the Yankees led the league in double plays induced with two outs (at Yankee Stadium or Camden Yards, between the hours of 3pm and 8pm on Mondays and Thursday in June and August). Seriously, I could make Cesar Crespo look like an amazing hitter as long as I threw an asterisk up there with the stat’s limitations.

I think the best local coverage is Boston’s NESN, only because RemDawg is just ridiculous. My favorite Jerry Remy moment from last year was when he was talking about the Red Sox infield (which last year was Kevin Youkilis, Mark Loretta, Alex Gonzalez, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek). You know that Santana song “Oye Como Va”? Well Remy was taking about how he shortened the last names of the infield to “YoLo GoLo Va” and sang it in the same tune as the Santana song. And he made a shirt for it too! He is just too much, and I love it. I also love how when the Sox game gets boring Don Orsillo and RemDawg just banter about completely irrelevant things, like the Phillies mascot being fat or barbeque in Kansas City. Also, even though they are really biased towards the Red Sox, they’re knowledgeable about the sport and the players. Also, RemDawg has a hotdog stand named after him. Isn’t that just great?

An aside: The play-by-play guy, Jamie Campbell, for the Toronto Blue Jays just said, “It’s almost like there’s no in-between. [Troy Glaus] is either going to get on base, get a homerun or get out.” Isn’t that how things normally work? I think he meant Glaus would walk, homer or strikeout, because he does all three regularly. But this is what pisses me off about commentators, and especially about sports show anchors. They pronounce player names incorrectly (Andre Iguodala and Anderson Varejao, much?) and say some weird things. Daru Dhillon (Double D’s), the morning show anchor for Sportsnet (Canada’s answer to ESPN), just sounds like she is bored. And her timing is always off. In-game commentators are different because it’s live and they games move quickly, but pronouncing names incorrectly is so annoying to me. It may be because I grew up having people mispronounce my name.

Anyway, I scheduled myself off for today (it’s so nice to be in charge of things like that). I have both TVs on to different games and both front pages of my fantasy leagues open. I’m a little too excited for this, even though last night’s game didn’t do much for me. In fact, it was a very crappy Opening Night game. First of all, I’m not a fan of the NL in general. I’m in the camp that loves the DH. How else could crappy first basemen who allow more runs than they produce get into games? How many games do you think the Yankees and Red Sox would lose if Jason Giambi and David Ortiz had to play first for them? No, I love the DH. The only teams worth watching in the NL are the Dodgers, the Phillies and the Mets. And even though the Mets were playing last night, the game still sucked. The only reason people outside of NL cities watch NL games? It’s fantasy baseball mixed leagues. That’s it. It’s the only reason I’m watching. That and to see which great player will take the money and become a Yankee.

Since I’m in two different leagues, with two completely different lineups, I’m almost confusing myself as to which players to root for. Especially when my pitcher is pitching to my batter. It’s gonna be a great season.

So, who wins tonight’s basketball game? I’m hoping for an Ohio State victory, only because it would suck to be owned by the same school twice in the same year -- and in the two most watched college sports. If they lose tonight (in the words of the immortal Pedro Martinez) the might as well tip their hat and call the Gators their daddy. (Who’s your Daddy? Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap.)

It’s time to settle in for a great Monday for sports. And it’s only 1pm.

Photo Source: DeRok.net