Are You That Somebody?

Let’s call it “The Curse of Orlando Cabrera.” So it doesn’t have the same roll-off-the-tongue feel as the red-headed stepchild’s favorite curse, but here’s hoping it becomes a legit one. Let’s go over the details.

So the Sox trade Babe Ruth for some money to pay off Fenway Park. Oops, wrong curse. Okay, that one’s been broken. Unfortunately. We’ll go back to Orlando Cabrera’s curse on the Sox.

Yes, Cabrera is still loved in Boston. Yes, he left on good terms, but let’s look at the finer details. The Red Sox didn’t really catch on fire in 2004 until they acquired Cabrera from Montreal in the four-team trade with the Cubs and Twins. I don’t know why I’m explaining this, since my six readers either hail from Boston or know enough about baseball to already know about the trade. Oh, it’s for my mom. Hi mom. Onward.

The Sox made out pretty well. They rid themselves of former favorite son Nomie and the drama that came with him. (Remember the Yanks series when Jeter went into the stands in the bottom of the 12th while Nomar sat on the bench?) While their stats will show that Nomar was a slightly better batter (he hit .321 while Cabrera hit .294) and they had very similar fielding percentages (Nomar with .957 and Cabrera with .966, but more chances), somehow the Red Sox made out better with Cabrera than with Nomar. Maybe it was Nomar refusing to play some games, while Cabrera played strong for the rest of the season. Maybe it was because Cabrera was a Gold Glove winner. Maybe it was because Cabrera just seemed comfortable in Boston. Or maybe it’s because the Sox fans could feel it after he hit a home run in his first at bat. Any way you cut it, the Sox went 56-45 before Cabrera and 42-19 afterwards. Oh, and they also beat the Yankees in the ALCS (Cabrera batted .379 with 5 RBI) and won the World Series. First one since 1918. But you all already knew that. Even you mom.

For some odd reason, the Red Sox decided to let Cabrera go to free agency. Not only did Cabrera leave, but so did Derek Lowe and Pedro. It was almost like the Sox thought, “Well, we did it. We can just relax now.” It wasn’t to cut payroll because the Sox signed Edgar Renteria for $40 million over four years while the Angels signed Cabrera for $32 million over the same time. Crazy shit, I know.

And Renteria brings us into the “Curse of Orlando Cabrera.” Renteria, as well all know, completely assed it up in Boston. He failed to break double-digits in home runs for the first time in seven years. He also struck out 100 times. That’s Wily Mo Peña territory. He also made 30 (!) errors at shortstop, which was more than his two previous years at St. Louis combined. Cabrera, meanwhile, didn’t have that great of a batting year, but only made seven errors and only struck out 50 times.

In what most people call “addition by subtraction,” the Sox rid themselves of Renteria (agreeing to pay $11 million of the rest of his contract, essentially paying $21 million for one year of Renteria), who went on to flourish in Atlanta. Talk about some people being uncomfortable in the Boston limelight. Boy genius Theo brought in Alex Gonzalez to upgrade the fielding. Also, to downgrade the batting. Gonzalez was essentially half the batter Cabrera was that same year for the Angels: half as many runs, half as many hits in half as many at bats. Interestingly enough, Gonzalez struck out more. He's also already hit 13 home runs this year. He hit nine all of last year.

That (finally) brings us to this year. Going into tonight’s game, Julio Lugo, the current pricey Red Sox shortstop, is hitting below the Mendoza Line. He was supposed to be the lead-off man of the future (or at least for the next four years at $36 million). He’s batting ninth tonight. Cabrera’s hitting .328. Quite the difference there.

Okay, all these stats are getting ridiculous. My mom and Eve are getting bored already, if they’ve even read this far. The fact is, the Red Sox have not won a World Series since Cabrera left. Okay, neither have the Yankees. In fact, the Yankees haven’t won a World Series since 2000 (which you already knew) and I like to call that the “Curse of the Moose.” That I probably will never write about.

My point is that the Red Sox have downgraded every year at shortstop. They’ve signed two shortstops to pricey four-year deals and neither has worked out. But I don’t mind at all. I just can’t imagine how (I can’t believe I’m writing this) GOOD the Sox would be if they had a decent shortstop for the last three years.

And while we’re at it, how good they could’ve been if we weren’t still in Boston’s Wily Mo Peña era. Let’s hope this curse continues for eighty-three more years.

Photo Source: MLB.com